A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
