let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
