week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
