I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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