i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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