she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my being single is dangerous.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
