She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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