I hate your face
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
