i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
