Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
