New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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