Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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