Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Randomize
