seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
