That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
