does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
