I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
