i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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