I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
