I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
