I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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