Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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