WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
