Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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