so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
