Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
