i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize