we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
