Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
