I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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