ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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