I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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