Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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