Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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