your thong is hanging out like whoa
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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