Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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