Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
