the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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