he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
