it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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