hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
