Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
