he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize