butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
