i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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