Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
