I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
