so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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