You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
