I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize