On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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