How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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