I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
