Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I cannot find my penis.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
