just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
