Define "chronic" masturbator.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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