I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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