i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
