omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just invented taco cereal.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
