who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
