My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize