You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
