shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
