We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
