How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
