He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
